Seriously Dog

Everyone knows that you have to be careful about what you say in front of children.  They are little parrots and will repeat things verbatim at some of the more inappropriate times (say at pre-school). 

What is a little more disconcerting, however, is when your children begin to develop reasoning skills and begin to show their intelligence.  This is not a bad thing when used appropriately say in identifying alphabet letters, counting past 10 etc.  It does become a problem when that reasoning causes them to use things that you have said against you or for them to come up with a completely reasonable thought on their own, it just happens to be completely inappropriate.


I began thinking on this because of a friend's recent Facebook post:




"was kinda cranky until she heard a 3-year-old boy scream "SH*T!" repeatedly in Harris Teeter. Fairly certain the mortified mom's facial expression will continue to evoke a giggle for the rest of the day"




Hmmmmm - been there before!!

• One of the "pet names" I gave my 4 year old was Chief Little Bottom.  Why was I surprised one day when he turned around and named me Chief Big Bottom (what an ego deflater)
• I was complaining (as most women do from time to time) about being fat and my child looked at me and said "Mommy, you aren't fat..." (what a good boy), "...Daddy is fat."  My husband wasn't as amused as I was about that (he isn't fat by the way)!
• My 8 year old was talking with his friends and they were talking about the bad word that starts with an H.  My son says " are you talking about (and then spells) H-E-L-L or H-A-T-E?"  Hey kid - when the hell did you learn to spell Hell?????  (at least he spelled it).
• When my 8 year old was 3 he proclaimed in a store dressing room (very loudly I might add) "I was in your tummy when you married Daddy."  Quickly (and just as loudly) I explained that he wasn't in my tummy until after Daddy and I were married
• My 4 year old was in carpool on a particularly bad traffic day.  When the mom driving commented on how bad traffic was my 4 year old whispered to his friend (in 4 year old whisper tone - ie spoke in a normal voice) and proclaimed that his mommy talked really mean to cars when they won't get out of her way.  My 4 year old's friend said that he should tell me that I should speak nicely to cars because they will do things for you when you talk nice but not when you talk mean.
• My neighbor's 4 year old learned to say the word crap by listening to me.  Yeah I know it is a PG bad word but you still don't want a 4 year old learning it (especially when it isn't even your kid).
• I taught another friend's 4 year old the phrase numb nuts
• Have several acquaintances whose kids have used the words sh*t and f*ck.... in correct context
• A friend was in the bathroom with her kids when a woman in the next stall, ummm "passed gas."  One of the kids started chanting Big Fat Farter over and over and louder and louder.  The mom couldn't leave the stall until she was sure that the woman (and anyone else in the bathroom) had left.

From the mouths of babes!!!  Would love to hear of things you have heard from your kids!!!

"Salary.com, Inc. (NASDAQ: SLRY) announced today the results of its annual Mom Salary Survey. For 2010, Salary.com determined that the time mothers spend performing the 10 most popular "mom job functions" would equate to an annual cash compensation of US$117,856 for a Stay-at-Home Mom. Working Moms would earn US$71,860 above their regular salary for their mom duties"

---Taken from MSN



"According to the Salary.com survey, the working mom puts in more than 96 hours a week when you combine her full-time job, mom hours, and mom overtime -- an increase of four hours from last year. This year's survey shows that mom is spending more time preparing meals, making sure the home stays in good repair, and shuttling the family to activities. Moms continue to work longer hours, because they outsource less and handle increasingly more of the workload themselves. Overtime remains a primary driver of mom's six-figure salary. This year, the stay-at-home mom's overtime averaged 59 hours in a 99-hour "work week."

--- Taken from salary.com





No wonder we are all exhausted!! A working mom is putting in 96 hours of work between her full time job and here mom job (which includes 56 hours of overtime). The SAHM mom is putting in 99 hours per week which boils down to 59 hours of overtime! Wouldn't it be nice if we were able to actually collect that salary (even part of it would be nice)? The salary is based on the top 10 functions of a mom which includes: laundry machine operator, janitor, van driver, computer operator, housekeeper, day care center teacher, cook, chief executive officer, psychologist, and facilities manager.



The sad thing is that these salaries are down from last year (down 4% for SAHM and down 6% for working moms) because of the economy but the number of hours worked is up because moms are doing more themselves and outsourcing less (again because of the economy).  To be able to take some of the burden off your work life or to take some of the earning burden off your husband would be great. Bottom line - wouldn't it be nice to get some recognition for the job that all moms do in raising our children and sending them out in the world to be productive members of society?



I'm just saying......

A friend forwarded this in an email in honor of Mother's Day.  I love the ideas that run through kids' heads!  I hope none of these answers were from my kids (especially the one about plastic surgery or eating a lot)!!
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:



Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.
What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

The story of my life....


If You Give a Mom a Muffin


If you give a mom a muffin,
She'll want a cup of coffee to go with it.
She'll pour herself some.
Her three-year-old will spill the coffee.
She'll wipe it up.
Wiping the floor, she'll find dirty socks.
She'll remember she has to do laundry.
When she puts the laundry in the washer,
She'll trip over boots and bump into the freezer.
Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan for supper.
She will get out a pound of hamburger.
She'll look for her cookbook ("101 Things To Do With a Pound of Hamburger").
The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.
She will look for her checkbook.
The check book is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old.
She'll smell something funny.
She'll change the two year old's diaper.
While she is changing the diaper, the phone will ring.
Her five-year-old will answer and hang up.
She'll remember she wants to phone a friend for coffee.
Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.
And chances are...
If she has a cup of coffee,
Her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.


by Kathy Fictorie