Seriously Dog

Everyone knows that you have to be careful about what you say in front of children.  They are little parrots and will repeat things verbatim at some of the more inappropriate times (say at pre-school). 

What is a little more disconcerting, however, is when your children begin to develop reasoning skills and begin to show their intelligence.  This is not a bad thing when used appropriately say in identifying alphabet letters, counting past 10 etc.  It does become a problem when that reasoning causes them to use things that you have said against you or for them to come up with a completely reasonable thought on their own, it just happens to be completely inappropriate.


I began thinking on this because of a friend's recent Facebook post:




"was kinda cranky until she heard a 3-year-old boy scream "SH*T!" repeatedly in Harris Teeter. Fairly certain the mortified mom's facial expression will continue to evoke a giggle for the rest of the day"




Hmmmmm - been there before!!

• One of the "pet names" I gave my 4 year old was Chief Little Bottom.  Why was I surprised one day when he turned around and named me Chief Big Bottom (what an ego deflater)
• I was complaining (as most women do from time to time) about being fat and my child looked at me and said "Mommy, you aren't fat..." (what a good boy), "...Daddy is fat."  My husband wasn't as amused as I was about that (he isn't fat by the way)!
• My 8 year old was talking with his friends and they were talking about the bad word that starts with an H.  My son says " are you talking about (and then spells) H-E-L-L or H-A-T-E?"  Hey kid - when the hell did you learn to spell Hell?????  (at least he spelled it).
• When my 8 year old was 3 he proclaimed in a store dressing room (very loudly I might add) "I was in your tummy when you married Daddy."  Quickly (and just as loudly) I explained that he wasn't in my tummy until after Daddy and I were married
• My 4 year old was in carpool on a particularly bad traffic day.  When the mom driving commented on how bad traffic was my 4 year old whispered to his friend (in 4 year old whisper tone - ie spoke in a normal voice) and proclaimed that his mommy talked really mean to cars when they won't get out of her way.  My 4 year old's friend said that he should tell me that I should speak nicely to cars because they will do things for you when you talk nice but not when you talk mean.
• My neighbor's 4 year old learned to say the word crap by listening to me.  Yeah I know it is a PG bad word but you still don't want a 4 year old learning it (especially when it isn't even your kid).
• I taught another friend's 4 year old the phrase numb nuts
• Have several acquaintances whose kids have used the words sh*t and f*ck.... in correct context
• A friend was in the bathroom with her kids when a woman in the next stall, ummm "passed gas."  One of the kids started chanting Big Fat Farter over and over and louder and louder.  The mom couldn't leave the stall until she was sure that the woman (and anyone else in the bathroom) had left.

From the mouths of babes!!!  Would love to hear of things you have heard from your kids!!!

"Salary.com, Inc. (NASDAQ: SLRY) announced today the results of its annual Mom Salary Survey. For 2010, Salary.com determined that the time mothers spend performing the 10 most popular "mom job functions" would equate to an annual cash compensation of US$117,856 for a Stay-at-Home Mom. Working Moms would earn US$71,860 above their regular salary for their mom duties"

---Taken from MSN



"According to the Salary.com survey, the working mom puts in more than 96 hours a week when you combine her full-time job, mom hours, and mom overtime -- an increase of four hours from last year. This year's survey shows that mom is spending more time preparing meals, making sure the home stays in good repair, and shuttling the family to activities. Moms continue to work longer hours, because they outsource less and handle increasingly more of the workload themselves. Overtime remains a primary driver of mom's six-figure salary. This year, the stay-at-home mom's overtime averaged 59 hours in a 99-hour "work week."

--- Taken from salary.com





No wonder we are all exhausted!! A working mom is putting in 96 hours of work between her full time job and here mom job (which includes 56 hours of overtime). The SAHM mom is putting in 99 hours per week which boils down to 59 hours of overtime! Wouldn't it be nice if we were able to actually collect that salary (even part of it would be nice)? The salary is based on the top 10 functions of a mom which includes: laundry machine operator, janitor, van driver, computer operator, housekeeper, day care center teacher, cook, chief executive officer, psychologist, and facilities manager.



The sad thing is that these salaries are down from last year (down 4% for SAHM and down 6% for working moms) because of the economy but the number of hours worked is up because moms are doing more themselves and outsourcing less (again because of the economy).  To be able to take some of the burden off your work life or to take some of the earning burden off your husband would be great. Bottom line - wouldn't it be nice to get some recognition for the job that all moms do in raising our children and sending them out in the world to be productive members of society?



I'm just saying......

A friend forwarded this in an email in honor of Mother's Day.  I love the ideas that run through kids' heads!  I hope none of these answers were from my kids (especially the one about plastic surgery or eating a lot)!!
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:



Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.
What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

The story of my life....


If You Give a Mom a Muffin


If you give a mom a muffin,
She'll want a cup of coffee to go with it.
She'll pour herself some.
Her three-year-old will spill the coffee.
She'll wipe it up.
Wiping the floor, she'll find dirty socks.
She'll remember she has to do laundry.
When she puts the laundry in the washer,
She'll trip over boots and bump into the freezer.
Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan for supper.
She will get out a pound of hamburger.
She'll look for her cookbook ("101 Things To Do With a Pound of Hamburger").
The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.
She will look for her checkbook.
The check book is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old.
She'll smell something funny.
She'll change the two year old's diaper.
While she is changing the diaper, the phone will ring.
Her five-year-old will answer and hang up.
She'll remember she wants to phone a friend for coffee.
Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.
And chances are...
If she has a cup of coffee,
Her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.


by Kathy Fictorie

Wow - what a long week! It is amazing the amount of work that goes into being a full time SAHM.




I am a newly retired Working mom (just sold a business) and am getting used to not having clients to answer to and deadlines to meet. Ever since my oldest was born (he is now 8) I have been able to work from home with a flexible schedule but this can be both a luxury and a curse. Being at home allowed me to be with my kids and pick them up from school, allowed me to take care of my home and get dinner on the table each night, and allowed me to do the things that need to be done each week (groceries, clothes, sports practices, dry-cleaning) without having to designate the entire weekend to it.




The curse is that work never stops. Your office is in the next room so when something is on your mind about work insomnia sets in and inevitably you end up doing some work when others have left that at the office for the next day. There is always one more task, email, project that you think you can squeeze in while the kids are finishing their homework or while they are watching their favorite show. There is never a time that you can see the stack on your desk and think of all the things you should be doing for work.




The added pressure comes from the fact that, while you can do all of the motherly/housewifey things mentioned above, you can't do any of them well. There have been plenty of moments when my husband has discovered that there is no clean underwear in the house for him that day, multiple occasions when my kid's lunches have been less than spectacular because I haven't been to the store in 2 weeks, and plenty of times we have had hot dogs for dinner because I just didn't plan ahead.




I thought switching gears to being a SAHM would have allowed me to find a little more peace in the house but, sadly that is not the case. Now, instead of being irritated with a client's email or an unreasonable request, I find myself getting irritated that I spent an hour cleaning the downstairs of our house and come back to it 30 minutes later to find it trashed. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to clean all the bathrooms in the house (which is the WORST job in the world) only to find the blob of toothpaste left in the sink after your children brush their teeth. Even the animals chip in on the mess making - the cat with his errant cat litter scatterings and the dog with her incessant need to destroy something in my house each day.




I have decided that it doesn't matter if you are a SAHM or a working mom, no one has it all. There are ups and downs to both and that both jobs are challenging - each in its own way. Each of us juggles different daily responsibilities and no one is sitting around eating bon bons and watching movies all day (despite what some of our husbands think).




I have experienced both sides of the fence and love and hate different aspects of each. Eventually I will most likely go back to work as my kids get a little older but right now I am enjoying discovering new activities like blogging, twittering, deep cleaning the house, organizing, etc, etc. I also enjoy that I can stop and actually take in the world around me. This week I have discovered:

• That a Starbucks Chai Tea Latte a day is a requirement for me to function each day (I am on my way there right now to fill the quota)
• That an 8 year old has the memory of a gnat and will walk out the door for a baseball game right past the baseball hat needed to complete his uniform (even after several reminders not to forget the hat)
• That there is a woman in my neighborhood who chooses as her work-out closes and long sleeve t-shirt and an ankle length skirt
• That it doesn't matter that your kids have been in school for 8 months now they will inevitably walk out the door and get in the car without their book bag an average of 3 days a week (see above - gnat memory)
• That your 4 year old will rat you out to the girl driving carpool and tell everyone that his mom runs red lights (which is totally untrue) and that she talks mean to cars when they won't get out of her way (which I categorically deny).
• There truly is a phobia of clowns (this post by The Blogess chronicals what I image to be my 4 years old's worst nightmare when he is grown and married)
• There is never a time where someone in the house (and that includes the animals) doesn't have a grievance to share with you
• There are days when you truly are over the driving and prep for the kid's activities and you just pray for rain so that everything is cancelled.
• That no matter how much you complain about how your kid's activities are taking over your life that in the end you truly enjoy being there with them.

Here's to the start of a new week - hope it is a great one!

Over the years I have struggled with organization tools. It is a joke in the house that every month I am overcome by the unrelenting desire to buy either a new planner (written or electronic) or a new phone (cordless or mobile).   My collection includes:

• Day Runners in Multiple formats - Day at a Glance, Month at a Glance, Day at a Glance with a Month at a Glance page, and Week at a Glance
• A series of 3 different Franklin Covey Binders all of different sizes (tiny, medium and mammoth) and all different materials (Pleather, leather and fabric).
• Microsoft Outlook plus a written calendar (which is tedious and for some reasons the calendars never had the same info so I was always double booking things).
• A Palm - a plain old digital organizer - no phone, no email or text (which I don't think even existed at the time).  The entire family got them for Christmas that year and we sat around all Christmas day entering contacts and then trying to beam them to each other. 
• A Treo phone - great for organizing and would sync with Outlook but the phone sucked and email was very temperamental
• A Blackberry - which I love
• And finally, the mom organizer which is really cool and pretty and has lots of great pre-made list pages to use but is bulky and is used in conjunction with my Blackberry so it kind of defeats the purpose of being efficiently organized.

There is a planner graveyard in my house (more commonly known as underneath the guest bedroom bed) and this is where all of my old relics lie. My biggest challenge is that I need my system to be non-bulky and portable because, while I am a working mom, most of what I need relates to my kids and running the household.




At any given time my items will be housed in a purse that is stuffed full of necessary items like: wallet, keys, phone, pen, paper, crayons, obliterated goldfish in a sandwich bag, a spare pair of kid's underwear (sometimes I do worry that if people see it they will think I am a pedophile but that is a story for another time), matchbox cars, Nintendo DS with games, stuffed animals, and some chapstick.




After much discussion with my neighbor, who is also facing this problem, we have decided that we both NEED IPhones and IPads. Our husbands beg to differ and say that we really WANT these items so my argument is that yes we do WANT these items because we NEED to get out lives in order.




We search daily to see if there is an update on the rumor that Verizon is getting the IPhone in June - please please please please Verizon we NEED the IPhone. We have determined that we would do just fine with the WiFi IPad and don't need the 3G one (that will save you some money Dear). These 2 items would satisfy my strange desire to purchase organizers and phones all in one fail swoop and would make my life complete -- until the next new cool tool comes along

All I have to say - my kid's know better than to mom my ride!

Doggie Dribble (noun) - the trail of tissue/ shoes/ toys/children's art projects/unmentionables left behind when a bored dog is left alone.... Even for only 20 minutes.




Here is the face of the normally cheery and happy dog in the house:




Today's offense involved tissue, a ziplock bag and my kid's art's projects (she chose one from each of them). At least I didn't find the cat litter mixed among this (which is evidence of a raid on the litter box which is just a whole other level of gross).




I was doing the carpool run and was gone for no more than 15-20 minutes. Apparently I left a bedroom door open so clearly this must mean in dog - come in and ransack what you will. Here is the result:


I thought I was done with the child proofing. Out comes the arsenal and today is doggie proofing day. She is determined but so am I. Today the war begins...

I have never and will never give anyone the impression that I am an artist.  Never had a talent in it and never will.  I do however appreciate artistic talent and love to see people who can create beautiful pieces.

My favorite art is that brought home by my kids from school.  My youngest attends a pre-school now where they do wonderful projects.  I am always excited to open his bag and see what is in there.  They commonly use body parts to create their masterpieces like these 2 he brought home around Halloween:

Why is the dog bed the place of choice for napping, chilling out and watching TV.  I am beginning to worry that this is a refelction of my housekeeping skills:

What are the chances the you will get called for jury duty, your kid will throw up... ALL OVER THE DOG and that same dog will get bitten by a possum and have to go the the ER at 11pm all in the same day???  Happened to me....  Really????   Seriously?????

Sawyer decided his friend Scrappy needed to be tucked in for the night....

Working at home and owning my own business is a wonderful bonus that I have right now in life.  My husband is able to support us so I am able to stay home with the kids.  My work is for me (to keep me sane) but is also something that I am building for when both my kids are in school.  My oldest is in second grade now.  We send him to private school (don't get me started on our public schools here).  My youngest has one more year of pre-school and then it is off to school for him as well.  There lies my anxiety!!  I love working at home (and for myself) so I can pick up the kids from school, let them have play dates, allow them to participate in activities, help with homework, etc.  To be honest though - the pay isn't always great.  If you don't have paying clients you don't get paid!!!!  That's fine - I know the business is growing and we are hoping it will become something great someday - hope doesn't pay for 2 private school tuitions though. 

How great is it that I can get some work done and still have fresh laundry at the end of the day.  I love being able to come and go as I please and do work on my time when I decide it is time.  Like today - I was photographing some new products for the web.  Here is what I have done for work today---



And look who showed up while I was working...


I hope that I can continue to work here and be able to build up the ability to pay for the extras and for the boy's school.  Whether it be for my business now or a new opportunity I hope that I will continue to have the freedom that working at home allows for.  I am working hard at it - hope it all pays off.

I also wish I could be as good a writer and/or blogger as some of the people I follow.  I am not totally into all this so I don't follow many people but here are 2 of the blogs that have kept me laughing and following.  I aspire to be at their level...

Jennsylvania

Snide Bride

So they say if you write your resolutions down you are more likely to stick to them.  I know it is the 13th and almost half way through January but I did make resolutions and have stuck to them. My goals this year are to:

1. Stop working at 4 and focus on my children and my house
2. Do a load of laundry every day (wash, fold and put away)
3. Do something each day to keep the house clean

So here is today's progress:
The bathroom is clean